Mental Narratives: Friendship and Asking for Help

• Health & Social Care
• Lower Secondary (Key Stage 3)
• Upper Secondary (Key Stage 4)
• Further Education (Key Stage 5)
• Higher Education (degree)
• BTEC, GCSE

Introduction

Using Vincent van Gogh’s work and life story, and a film by Mentale Thee, the students will explore the subject of ‘friendship and asking for help’. Propositions and assignments will be used to prompt discussion, to enable them to reflect and determine their own view.

Instructions

General goals

- To prompt discussion of ‘friendship and asking for help’.

- To get to know Vincent van Gogh.

Link with curriculum

- The subject of this lesson is suitable for tutor group sessions.

Differentiation

- This lesson can be combined with the lessons on stress, sad feelings and courage.

- Feel free to give the lesson as you see fit, adapting it to suit the level and age of your students. Slides may be omitted or added.

Materials

• The students can use their mobile or another device to read the propositions and questions. The lesson can also be given without the use of mobiles.

• A picture postcard for each student.

Mental narratives

How do you get students talking about subjects like stress, courage, asking for help and sad feelings? And how do you shape the discussion? We have developed four lessons based on the art and life of Vincent van Gogh to help you start a discussion on these subjects and explore them further. The videos feature Maren Porte and Sanne Haak from the Mentale Thee (‘Mental Tea’) podcast talking to their peers about these subjects. The lessons have been developed with academic experts, and people who have personal experience of these issues.

Mental Narratives: 

Friendship and Asking for Help

Vincent van Gogh

Question: What do you know about Vincent van Gogh?

Practical instructions: The students may answer using their mobile. If you prefer to give the lesson without using mobiles, the answers can be written on the smartboard (click on the pencil icon).

Vincent

Vincent had a turbulent life. Things weren’t always easy. Swings in his mental state made him anxious, sad and unsure at times. He was quite vulnerable, but he was also strong. He always tried to find the strength to carry on. He asked for help, and got support from his family, friends and professionals. Painting also helped.

You can also use the students’ answers from the previous slide to introduce the subject of the lesson. See hotspot for context. 

No friends?

It’s often though that Vincent had no friends. What do you think? Choose your answer on the next slide.

Vincent had no friends and he
spent most of the time alone.

Yes, he was alone most of the time.

No, he had lots of friends.

Ask some of the students to explain their answer. Then talk about the real answer: Vincent had lots of friends (some of them also artists). They went out together and he exchanged ideas with them. If they didn’t live close, they wrote to each other. Some of Vincent’s friends are shown on the next slide.

Theo

Theo van Gogh: Vincent’s younger brother and a source of great support. They wrote each other hundreds of letters – sometimes twice a day. Vincent sent over 600 letters to Theo. And Theo eventually named his son after Vincent. 

Paul

Paul Gauguin: an artist who lived with Vincent at the Yellow House in Arles for a while. Vincent and Paul had different ways of working. Paul generally painted from his memory and his imagination, while Vincent painted what he saw. This difference in approach sometimes caused arguments about the best way to paint. 

Emile

Emile Henri Bernard: a French painter, 15 years younger, whom Vincent met in Paris. Vincent sometimes worked with him in the garden at Emile’s parents’ house, they wrote to each other, and they exchanged paintings. 

Joseph

Joseph Roulin: a postman who worked at the railway station in Arles. Since Vincent often sent paintings to Theo from there, he and Joseph became friends. Vincent and Joseph had a special connection. They often ate together, sometimes at Roulin’s home, with his family. 

Portrait of Joseph Roulin, 1889

Kröller-Müller Museum, Otterlo

Help when you’re in a dip

At times when Vincent wasn’t feeling so good mentally, he usually asked for help. Sometimes others did it for him.

If the help he got didn’t work, he would discuss other possibilities with family and friends.

Contact

Vincent wrote huge numbers of letters. He was often very open about the things that concerned him, like family, money matters, love and painting. And also about his physical and mental health. He shared his feelings with his friends and family. They tried to help him think of solutions. Vincent always stayed in contact with others. His biggest source of support was his brother Theo.

'De liefde tussen broeders is een krachtige steun in het leven, dat is een van ouds erkende waarheid.'

'I regard love – as I do friendship – not only as a feeling but chiefly as an action.'

Vincent wrote:

Suggestion: Discuss with the students what this act meant. 

Finding suitable help together

When things were really bad for Vincent and his family and friends could no longer help, they would help him to find suitable professional help. After he had cut off his ear and he did not get the care he needed at hospital, he had himself admitted to a kind of psychiatric institution, where he would be able to calm down. There weren’t any psychiatrists at that time, so Vincent was treated by regular doctors. Things are different nowadays. But people get together with family, friends or experts to find the right help. Sometimes you know yourself what you need, but sometimes you don’t. Then, someone else might be able to help you. Two heads are often better than one.

What tips do the young people in the video give about asking for help?

What do the young people in the video think is important in a friendship?

What do you think is
important in a friendship?

How can you find out whether
someone needs your help?

What is an open question?

This is a question that you can’t answer with just ‘yes’ or ‘no’. There may be several possible answers. Open questions often begin with ‘what’ or ‘how’.

Discussion

Intro

Simply asking open questions, probing a little further and listening carefully can help someone.

How do you keep probing?

Probing a little further will deepen the discussion. The best way is to listen carefully, give the other person time to think and encourage them. Then you can summarise what the other person has said to check whether you’ve understood it correctly, and ask another question.

Exercise: Open questions and listening

Option 1: Listen, summarise, probe further

Spend the next five minutes doing the following in pairs:

- One of you shares something that’s bothering you.

- The other listens carefully and asks questions. The listener has the job of finding out what exactly is going on.

- As the listener, make sure you don’t judge or give advice. It’s simply about asking the right questions.

- Write down anything you’ve noticed.

- Swap roles.

Option 2: Listen and ask one open question

Do the following in pairs:

- One of you talks for a minute about something that’s bothering you. The other listens in silence.

- After a minute, the one who was listening may ask one open question to get more information. Then the two of you continue talking about it for another minute.

- Write down anything you’ve noticed.

- Swap roles.

Option 1: For the next five minutes the pairs take it in turns to talk about something that’s bothering them. Two minutes for one and two minutes for the other. At the end of each two minutes they should briefly reflect on what has been said.

Exercise: Giving compliments

Intro

Do you ever get compliments? How does that make you feel? And how does the person giving the compliment feel?

Give a compliment

Give a compliment today to someone you’ve never given a compliment to before. It’s important to:

• be sincere
• be clear and specific

What effect did this have on you and the other person?

'De liefde tussen broeders is een krachtige steun in het leven, dat is een van ouds erkende waarheid.'

'The love between brothers is a great support in life, that is an age-old truth.'

Vincent wrote:

Assignment: Postcard

Intro

Vincent wrote lots of letters to his family and friends, especially his brother Theo. He was his biggest source of support. Do you ever write a letter or card to anyone?

Friendship is a broad concept. Who is important to you, and why? What would you like to say to that person; something you don’t often say to them?

Write

Write a postcard to someone who’s important to you. Post it or hand it to them yourself.

Talk some more?

• Tutor/teacher
  
• Counsellor
  
• Pastoral care coordinator
  
• Someone you trust
  
• GP/school doctor
• Mind www.mind.org.uk / YoungMinds www.youngminds.org.uk