V5C 5-6-2025 45 min

• Engels
• Middelbare school
• vwo
• Leerjaar 5

Welcome! 

You need: book, notebook, pen

Programme

1. Programme / learning goals

2. General feedback practice essays

3. Check your own feedback & rewrite

4. Round off together

Today's homework assignment will be checked next week

Learning goals

At the end of this lesson...

 

- I will have refreshed my knowledge of an essay structure

- I will have learned from general and individual writing feedback

About your writing test next week:

Message from our IT department:

Let op: wachtwoord Magister nodig! 

Ook thuis het volgende doen: leerlingen moeten op incognito scherm inloggen op Magister. 

            Essay

General feedback

          NO:

- repetition of words ('really')

- repetition of meaning

- I/we/you

- can't, don't, he's etc.

- ??????? or !!!!!!!!!!!

- 'in this essay...'

- subheaders

- informal language 

- 'and', 'but', 'because' at the start of a sentence

- get-passive

           YES:

- synonyms

- passive (at least once! no 'get')

- advanced vocab & grammar

- white spaces between paragraphs

- cannot, do not, he is

- complete sentences

- linking words

                                                   EXAMPLES

FROM:

- Some people say

- ALL (capitals)

- Thing / something / some

- Probably/ maybe (in the conclusion)

- What was said in the previous paragraph

- Drug abuse is a major problem. For society and the economy. 

TO:

> Allegedly / it is reported

> (is like shouting)

> (use sparingly or not at all)

> (choose a side!)

> Shortly state what was said + linking word

> Drug abuse is a major problem for society and the economy.

Informal > formal examples

'cause                                    > because/ on account of/ since, ....

dope/ weed                         > cannabis

a lot of/ lots of                    > much/many

a good idea                         > excellent/ appropriate, advantage, solution, ....

a big problem                    > serious/severe/major, issue/dilemma, predicament

just                                         >  -

really                                      >  -

okay                                        >  -   

Make more formal:

- An important thing to think about

- It is bad for your body and mind

- You don't know if

Make more formal:

- An important thing to think about

It should be considered

- It is bad for your body and mind

It has a negative effect on people's physical and mental health

- You don't know if

It is impossible to determine whether

..... cannot be determined

Make clearer:

The world sees the trade in drugs as a bad thing that should be illegal because of the medical consequences, but also that it causes many fights and unnecessary conflicts between traders and government regulations.

(part of the introduction)

Example:

The general consensus is that drug trade should be illegal due to the detrimental effect of drug addiction on people's health. Moreover, it is one of the major causes of criminal activity and violence worldwide.

Make more formal & precise:

The government spends millions to get rid of 

and deal with drugs.

Example:

Every year, millions of euros are spent by the government to control and suppress drug trade and drug-related violence.

A note about writing a topic sentence:

Some students wrote a concluding sentence at the end of a body paragraph. You don't need to, but it's okay if you do.

Sometimes, the concluding sentence could very easily be used as the topic sentence. Check your writing!

Degrees of comparison

To do now (write on paper)

1. Find the essay rubric on ELO
2. Check the feedback on your essay
3. Write an essay plan according to the rubric
4. Rewrite your essay incorporating the feedback + essay outline (doc)
5. Ask your neigbour to check, using the rubric

I will also send you an overview of our essay writing lessons

Finished? Read your book

Well done! You...

... have refreshed your knowledge of an essay structure

... have learned from general and individual writing feedback

- Next week (Thursday): essay writing test, 8th-9th hour

- We also have 1 lesson, for homework: check Magister

Speaking exercise with conditional

First: watch a video (1:57 mins)

Questions:

- summarize what, why, where, how, by whom

- 'grassroot library'?

I 

Questions:

- summarize what, why, where, how, by whom

- 'grassroot library'?

Listening exercise

Video about the demise of pope Francis 

and the conclave in Rome

(4:31)

rare - conclave - papal/papacy

Questions

1. What is the difference between this funeral and the previous ones?
2. Why is it different?
3. Name a few other things pope Francis did differently.
4. Does the journalist think the film 'Conclave' paints a correct picture of a conclave?
5. How many votes does a cardinal need to become pope?

Questions

1. What is the difference between this funeral and the previous ones?
2. Why is it different?
3. Name a few other things pope Francis did differently.
4. Does the journalist think the film 'Conclave' paints a correct picture of a conclave?
5. How many votes does a cardinal need to become pope?

Questions + answers

1. What is the difference between this funeral and the previous ones?

Different location: Sta Maria Maggiore instead of the Vatican
2. Why is it different? Pope Francis wanted his burial to be more quiet and humble.
3. Name a few other things pope Francis did differently. 1 coffin in the ground, simple clothing / shoes, lived in the guesthouse, not the official papal apartments
4. Does the journalist think the film 'Conclave' paints a correct picture of a conclave? Yes he does (secrecy, no communication with the outside world)

5. How many votes does a cardinal need to become pope?                                                                               2/3 majority, OR, after 15 days: 50% + 1.

Essay topic: Why are Americans overweight?

Thesis statement:
Americans are overweight because

What animal makes the best pet?

Thesis statement: ....... are the best pets because

Name the 3 elements of a good introduction:

Can you name the subject, claim and 3 points?

“Going back to college was a complex process that involved researching a school, applying for admission, and enrolling in classes.”

What do you remember?

Essay structure: the elements & what they should contain

1. Think (on your own, in silence)
2. Pair (compare notes)
3. Share (with the class)

Share: teacher writes on whiteboard, using the students' info to make a complete structure:

Title

Introduction

- opening sentence(s)

- thesis statement

Paragraph 1: pros

- topic sentence

- argument(s)

- example(s)

- wrap-up

Paragraph 2: cons

- topic sentence

- argument(s)

- example(s)

- wrap-up

Conclusion

- reference to thesis statement

- short summary

- name most benificial + arguments

(no examples)

(no new information)

The coming weeks, we will address alle these elements and practise