Written IO feedback and feedforward

Lesson objectives 
IO feedback and feedforward 
How to format titles 
You will answer some questions about your essay and  rewrite some sentences 
The expectations for your paragraph construction 
Gallery walk for our next novel 

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Slide 1: Slide
EngelsFurther Education (Key Stage 5)

This lesson contains 21 slides, with interactive quizzes and text slides.

Items in this lesson

Lesson objectives 
IO feedback and feedforward 
How to format titles 
You will answer some questions about your essay and  rewrite some sentences 
The expectations for your paragraph construction 
Gallery walk for our next novel 

Slide 1 - Slide


Thursday 2nd November 
Charged e-reader 
The Things they Carried 
downloaded prior to coming to lesson
The librarian will download a memoir onto your e-reader next week

Slide 2 - Slide

* Remember to capitalise any important words including the first and last word. 
Big things
film title 
Work of art 
TV series 



William Shakespeare 


by William Shakespeare 
Small things 
short story 
novel/book chapter 
Newspaper/magazine article 
TV episode 

"Quotation marks" 


"Does Magnesium Help you Sleep"
"Quotation marks" 


"Does Magnesium Help you Sleep"

Slide 3 - Slide

The name of the extract is stated
The author or originating source is given
The text type is clearly identified without elaboration
where the text appeared is stated
When it was produced is stated
The content is discussed: what does the text actually say (briefly)
The intended audience/reader is stated (if definable) 
The purpose(s) is stated
The social, cultural and temporal context is addressed (if available)
The thesis: what you find most important about the text. This is your main insightful idea.(without elaboration)
The supporting sub-insightful ideas that support your main thesis


Slide 4 - Slide

Name extract 
Macbeth & untitled photograph 
William Shakespeare & Lauren Greenfield 
Text type 
Play & photograph 
Where appeared 
Production date 
1606 & 2010
'An ambitious Scottish Thane is enticed, through equivocal prophesies from three witches, to become a tyrannical leader and, through excessive hubris, constructs his own downfall.' 
'Selena Gomez, a 17 year-old actress and singer, is shown during the photo shoot, in West Hollywood, for her album cover.' 

Slide 5 - Slide

Entertain, persuade, (inform)
Social, cultural, temporal context 
USA in 21st C, successful entertainer, social media profile, 
17th C UK, James 1st, patronage, 
Global issue 
Both authors have skilfully highlighted the negative impact on members of society of presenting an untrue or false image. (appearance versus reality)  
false presentation in media affecting young girls.
The effect on Lady Macbeth of covering up and assisting her husband in his murderous tyranny. 
framing, colour, props, focus/focal point, composition, posture, cropping, rule of three, contrast, visual narrative, camera angle, gaze, vantage point, colour value, negative space, depth of field, foreground, background
Punctuation, prose, repetition, imagery, dramatic irony, ambiguity (equivocation), rhetorical question, hyperbole, juxtaposition/contrast, personification. 

Slide 6 - Slide

Your body paragraph contains 
An insightful idea
Key language from your guiding question
textual references/ quotes
stylistic features
the author/audience relationship (effect on the reader)
transition words
evaluative language 
All these features appear several times and not in a specific order. 

Slide 7 - Slide

Slide 8 - Slide

Lauren Greenfield highlights, in this photograph, the discrepancy between what the public are shown in images and what the reality is of the construction of those images. This photograph is a long, wide shot in which the viewer can not only see what the final image will be, but also the way in which that image is constructed. This allows the viewer to question the veracity of the images that they see on social media or on album covers. The power of three is employed to balance the composition and draw the eye towards the three subjects. The focal point is Gomez, a 17-year-old singer and actress, who is placed centrally in the frame. Her yellow dress, contrasting with the pale blue background, provokes connotations to innocence and happiness. Moreover, these connotations are supported by the phony clouds in the foreground and background. Significantly, Gomez’s triumphant posture and gaze towards a fictional future encourage the viewers to aspire to an unattainable lifestyle. An imaginary, deceptive world is created, and Greenfield underscores the negativity of this fraudulent world by framing Gomez between two dark figures who are helping to construct this equivocal image. The contrast between the two stage support staff in saturated black and Gomez in virtuous, pale colours serves to further emphasise the fictitious nature of mainstream media images. 
What are the 'signature moves' of this text? 

Slide 9 - Slide

Evaluative language. Adjectives/adverbs indicating evaluation 

Slide 10 - Slide

to argue
to explain 
to evaluate 
to instruct 
to inform 
to analyse 
 to explain
to entertain
to describe
 to recount
to persuade 

Slide 11 - Slide

Sentence re-write 
The theme of Lady Macbeth's nightmares (the consequence of the false narratives) is also a recurring theme, as Macbeth had nightmares and visions after killing Duncan and Banquo as well. 
Remove the brackets in your re-write. 
Divide into two sentences or a complex sentence, which is a sentence with an independent and a dependent clause. Add a link to the narrowed down global issue. 

Slide 12 - Slide

Your re-write

Slide 13 - Open question

Sentence re-write 
The yellow dress contrasts with the background make her the focus point of the image, later noticing the remaining two subjects. 
Divide this sentence into a complex sentence (one dependent and one independent clause). Use a subordinating conjunction, for example: 
although, even though, while, since, whether

Slide 14 - Slide

Your re-write

Slide 15 - Open question

Sentence re-write 
Besides, the extent of her crimes is further emphasised in the statement "...all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand," it depicts that Lady Macbeth knows that she will not be able to climb out of this dark stage in her life knowing she has contributed to killing, Duncan, this foreshadows her eventual suicide later in the play.
Divide this sentence into two or three sentences and link it to the narrowed down global issue. Add: Furthermore, unless and although. 

Slide 16 - Slide

Your re-write

Slide 17 - Open question

General statement 
Specific statement(s)
Thesis statement
Thesis statement 
Specific statement(s)
General statement

Slide 18 - Slide

Rephrase your thesis statement
Rephrase your thesis statement. Avoid repeating your thesis statement as it appears in your introduction. Change the language and word choice in the original thesis statement so that it reflects the analysis that you have shown in your literary essay.
Another option is to revise your thesis statement to be more clear, making  edits to it. Go back to your introduction and read your thesis statement again. Then, keep your thesis statement in mind as you read over your body paragraphs. Consider whether your thesis statement still feels relevant to your essay, or if it could be revised. 

Slide 19 - Slide

Rephrase but do not repeat
Start with your revised/ rephrased thesis statement. The middle section of your conclusion should be three to five sentences long. It should broaden the scope of your essay. 
  • Important themes or ideas 
  • summarize your most important findings 
  • No new information in your conclusion 

Slide 20 - Slide

Answer the question 'so what?'
Think about why someone would care about what you are addressing in your essay and why the focus of your essay is important. Answering the question “so what?” can help you generate interesting things to finish your essay within the conclusion. Possible final sentences: 
  • Finish with a powerful image or detail from the text
  • End with a simple sentence straightforward sentence
  • Set your findings in a larger context

Slide 21 - Slide