FCE Writing Class - Makeover

• Engels
• Middelbare school
• vwo
• Leerjaar 2

How good are you at the Writing paper? 

Do you have difficulty thinking of what to say? Do you pay enough attention to organisation? Do you often make silly grammar or spelling mistakes? Or do you think your writing is of a pretty high standard? Below you'll find authentic answers to some of the tasks that have appear in the Writing Paper. Have a look and see how they compare to your own work.

Task Type: Informal Letter

Question

You have received the following letter from your English-speaking friend.

Write your informal letter of reply to your friend (around 140-190 words).

Makeover: Alyssa

Read Alyssa's answer to this question on the following slide. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for Mrs Corrigan's feedback.

'Hi' is the correct spelling.

This should be 'having'. We always say 'look forward to +ing something or somebody'.

Try saying something like this: 'You asked about how to get from the airport to our apartment - well, don't worry, it won't be difficult'.

1. The verb 'call' does not take 'to' so this should be 'call the airport'

2. This should be 'arrival time'. 'Estimated time of arrival' is an alternative but is also rather too formal.

This sounds a little TOO informal! How about 'Does that sound alright to you?'

This should be 'As for the weather....'

This should be 'Swedish'

You need something to indicate a pause here such as a semi-colon or even a full stop.

This should be 'warm clothes with you''

This would be better as 'bring''

Try something like 'And finally, let me add something about the issue of money.'

This should be 'try not to think about it.'

This should be 'I am looking forward to seeing you.'

Don't forget to sign off your letter, with 'Love from' or 'Best wishes' followed by your name.

Feedback

This is a nice, friendly informal letter, Alyssa, which would give some information to answer your friend's questions. For the makeover I have concentrated on the following points:

1. Spelling and punctuation. Remember to check your spelling very carefully during the exam and to make sure that you are writing proper sentences.

2. Vocabulary and expression. I have suggested some alternatives for you to consider.

Task Type: Article

Question

You have been asked by the editor of your school magazine to write an article on the following topic:

Write your article for the magazine (around 140-190 words).

Makeover: Alen

Read Alen's answer to this question on the next slide. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work on the next slide. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons  in the text on the following slide for Mrs Corrigan's feedback.

This is perhaps not the best way to begin an essay about television. I suggest something like: 'In spite of today's high-speed technology, the television is still the most common way of transmitting information'.

This should be 'are a large'

I would say 'has an educational value, or is informative'. (N.B. 'educational value' is an excellent collocation - well done!)

Good choice of vocabulary

You must say either: 'Most programmes' OR 'The majority of programmes'.

Feedback

This is a nicely organised article with good control of language (both grammar and vocabulary). For this makeover I think you should change the first sentence and make the start of the article more relevant to the title. Apart from this and a couple of minor errors in the rest of the article, this is a good answer.

Task Type: Report

Question

You recently attended an English language course. At the end of the course you were given the following letter:

Write your report for the Principal (around 140-190 words).

Makeover: Liam

Read Liam's answer to this question on the next slide. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for Mrs Corrigan's feedback.

In this type of noun+noun structure (months + English course), with a number before the first noun (six), we usually join the number to the first noun with a hyphen AND put the first noun in the singular form. Instead of 'six months English course' we say 'six-month English course'. Phew!

I think you must mean 'attended'!

It's better I think to say 'Negative points'

A well-constructed phrase.

1.It would be more natural to say 'the teachers'.

2. You need to put in 'and' here OR to have a fullstop.

Strickly speaking, you should say 'number' rather than 'amount', because this comes before a plural noun (students). 'Amount' is generally used with uncountable nouns (although many native speakers of English 'break' this rule!)

An excellent end to the report.

Feedback

This is a very well-written answer to the task, Liam. I like the way you have organised this report and given each paragraph its own heading. This really helps the reader, doesn't it? You have a good range of grammatical structures and you're ambitious in the vocabulary you use. Another positive aspect is your use of linking phrases ('Another thing to mention...', 'As a consequence...', 'To sum up....') which helps your writing to flow nicely. For the makeover, I have commented on aspects of your English that wouldn't be considered too serious at FCE-level but are points you may wish to remember for the future!

1628

 

Marking Code

/\ Word(s) missing

- Omit word

C Capitalization

Gd Good

O Organisation

P Punctuation

PE Poorly expressed

R Register/Formality

SS Sentence Structure

S Spelling

T Tip

WF Wrong form

WO Word order

WT Wrong tense

WW Wrong word

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Now you try.....

1. Choose one of the following exam tasks
   
2. Underline the important parts of the question
3. Answer it as well as you can (don't forget to make a plan)
4. Pass it to your partner for correction and feedback
5. Meanwhile, you mark your partner's work and give feedback based on the previous slides. Give some brief feedback, concentrating on what they did well. 

Task Type: Article (1)

Question

You have seen the following advertisement in a magazine:

Write a short article about these questions and you could be published in our next issue.

Write your article for Film Weekly magazine (around 140-190 words).

Film Weekly Top 100 films - the viewers choice

What is your favourite film of all time?

Why should it be in the top 100?

Task Type: Informal Letter (1)

Question

You have received the following letter from your English penfriend:

Write your letter of reply to your penfriend (around 140-190 words).

I'm really pleased you're planning to come to England to study. Let me know what type of course you're interested in and I'll ring some colleges for details. The more information you can give me the better!

Task Type: Report (1)

Question

Last year a new sport and leisure centre opened in your home town. You have recently received the following letter from the manager of the centre.

Write your report to the manager of the club (around 140-190 words).

I am writing to all members of the Active Leisure Club to thank you for your custom over the last year. We want to make the facilities even better this year! Please send a short report to us, telling us what you think are the best and worst aspects of the club. We also want to hear your suggestions for new facilities...

Task Type: Article (2)

Question

You have seen the following competition in an magazine for young people:

If we publish your article you will win a prize of fifty pounds!

Write your article for the magazine (around 140-190 words).

"In your experience what are the benefits and drawbacks of learning another language? Is is something you would recommend to ALL young people?"

Task Type: Informal Letter (2)

Question

You have received the following email from your English penfriend:

Write your letter of reply to your penfriend (around 140-190 words).

It's a really brave step to take a year out of college to come and spend 6 months in the UK! What are you planning to do with your time? Find a job? Learn some new skills? Write back and give me more details of your plans so I can do my best to help you have a good time...

Task Type: Report (2)

Question

Last year a new sport and leisure centre opened in your home town. You have recently received the following letter from the manager of the centre:

Write your report to the manager of the club (between 140-190 words).

I am writing to all members of the Active Leisure Club to thank you for your custom over the last year. We want to make the facilities even better this year! Please send a short report to us, telling us what you think are the best and worst aspects of the club. We also want to hear your suggestions for new facilities..

Homework

Read through all the tasks and think how you would have answered them.

Read through the FCE Writing Handbook. Pay special attention to the layout of the different tasks

I have a few of the Writing Handbooks if you need one.