5H Writing lesson 1

• newEditor
• Engels
• Middelbare school
• havo
• Leerjaar 5

5H Writing lesson 1

Discuss mock 1, rubric and compare texts

How do you think you did on mock 1?

Let's see how true that is...

1. Content - (5 points) - Are all points addressed and properly developed (about WHAT you did)

• Split into 5 parts - intro, body paragraphs (3) and conclusion

2. Communicative Achievement - (5 points) - Relevancy & Formality

Communicative Achievement

Per paragraph!!!!

• intro: clear relevant transition from intro of the subject to question/thesis & question is in line with assignment

• BPs: - ½ point for relevancy: is the idea related to the topic and does it show understanding of the topic (details present)?

• conclusion: do they give an answer to the question asked in the intro? - something about the effects of too much gaming

• - ½ point for formality: is it formal enough -- no I/you/we/things/stuff/etc. (except for the conclusion), does it sound like the writer is talking directly to the reader or is it neutral?

• - 0,5pt if conclusion is advice to reader.

Introduction

Introduction:

• General introductory sentence and a preview to the essay - if one is missing deduct - ½

• The intro requires a general introductory sentence introducing and hooking the reader and a preview to the essay (ie. what are you going to discuss/answer?)

• Topic - Problem - Question

Introduction examples - which passes?

Increasingly, people have a choice: whether to go to a concert or watch it at home. Both have their advantages - and disadvantages.

Concerts are a popular choice of entertainment for many people. Going to see an artist live is an option, but nowadays one can also look up concerts online. That presents the question - which is better: attending a concert, or watching the same concert at home, for example online or on TV?

Example 2

Example 1

1 or 2?

A

1

B

2

Body Paragraphs

• Topic sentence: full sentence, topic introduced (no extras, such as ‘because…’)

• Each body paragraph: if no proper topic sentence -½, if 1 argument - ½

• Two different arguments and an example for each present (can be +/-, +/+ and -/-)

• if wrong topic in BP: -1 for each body paragraph in which this is the case

Body Paragraphs

1

Secondly, watching on your TV or computer is far more comfortable than travelling to the concert, queuing to get in and then having a long, slow joumey home afterwards. If you get thirsty or hungry at home, you just go to the fridge. And there is no queue for the bathroom, either.

2

Secondly, another aspect of concerts to consider is comfort. It could be argued that watching a concert at home is the most comfortable option as there are no other distractions or disturbances, which very well may happen at a live concert. However, a lot of people will give up most basic human comforts if it means seeing their favorite artist live, an experience they consider more rewarding that seeing them on a screen.

1 or 2?

A

1

B

2

Conclusion

• The conclusion needs to clarify your opinion, including why. Why cannot just be a recital of the three BP topics or a copy-paste sentence from a BP.

• If no opinion plus reason given -1 If one missing, -½

Conclusion

In conclusion, it is better to watch a concert live because the experience is incomparable to watching that at home. While home can be a comfortable space to listen to the music, the experience of being in the crowd and seeing artists live will be much more memorable and meaningful.

On balance, therefore, I believe it is worth the cost and inconvenience of going to see your favourite singers or musicians live. It is an experience you will never forget.

2

1

Which one?

A

1

B

2

Is your smiley still the same?

Content

Communicative Achievement

What needs the most work?

For the rest of class

Take a look at your essay. Write down -

1. What are you not so worried about with your essay?

2. What still needs some work and why?

3. Write down 1 question you have for me regarding content and/or communicative achievement.