Talking about emotional intelligence with your students can make a difference
Thomas Courtley
Teaching & Learning Lead
Netflix’s series Adolescence might just be another gripping crime drama to some, but for those of us working or living with teenagers, it’s a reminder to stay in the loop. The series paints a picture of what can go wrong when young people don’t have the tools to manage their emotions, turn to unhealthy sources for validation, and end up relying on aggression to cope. Here’s the good news: you are in a position to help open up a dialogue and give some guidance to your students.
Why emotional regulation matters for everyone
We know from research that emotional regulation is key to both academic success and well-being. If adolescents don’t learn how to manage their emotions, frustration can turn into aggression, disguising the vulnerability that hides behind their anger. It's not just the boys who need this—it’s every student, regardless of gender. The classroom should be a safe space where all students understand that emotions don’t make them weak—they make them human, and it’s okay to feel them.
Spotting digital red flags that might effect students
You all know that adolescent students spend a lot of time online, and sometimes what they’re sharing isn’t as innocent as it seems. Phrases like ‘future body’ or red pill emojis may seem harmless, but they can indicate deeper issues.
The ‘red pill’ emoji, for instance, originally comes from the film The Matrix, where the red pill represents an uncomfortable truth or awakening. However, in certain online communities, especially those associated with the so-called ‘manosphere’ or some anti-feminist groups, it has taken on a more sinister meaning. It often represents a rejection of societal norms or progressive values, especially in relation to masculinity. People who use the red pill symbol might be signalling a belief in controversial or harmful ideas about gender roles, such as toxic masculinity, or the notion that men are oppressed by society.
This is why teaching media literacy is so important! Helping young people learn how to critically engage with what they see online gives them the skills to spot and reject toxic narratives.
Interactive tools to help you guide complex discussions
Tools like LessonUp make it easier to engage students in social and emotional learning, helping them develop the skills they need for life, not just the classroom.
Anonymity option. Keeping responses anonymous helps reduce students’ fear of being ‘called out’ while still allowing for open discussion. As the teacher, you’ll still have access to the full results, including who said what, for later review. Here are a few ideas you could try out:
Mind maps
Allow students to put ideas forward around a topic, as complex or simple as you like, that can then be discussed as a group. For example, you could explore different ways emotions are expressed and understood.
Open questions
Give students space to think and reflect on difficult topics, offering a judgment-free space. Using open questions as a point of quiet reflection allows students to express themselves in their own words.
Polls
A quick way to gauge student perspectives, helping you spot misconceptions and see whether opinions are divided or aligned—especially on topics like gender roles in society.
Creating safe spaces for honest conversations
All young people need an environment where they can express their emotions without fear of judgment. Whether it's through class discussions, journaling, or using tools like LessonUp’s interactive features (some of which allow students to respond anonymously), it’s crucial to create space for honest conversations. This isn't just about ‘fixing’ boys or adolescents: it's about helping all students learn to open up, express themselves, and feel they are supported no matter what.
Encouraging positive role models
Not all examples of masculinity (or femininity, for that matter) are harmful. Some show resilience, kindness, and accountability, and these are traits we should celebrate more at school and at home. By integrating a range of diverse role models—whether they're from different genders, backgrounds, or showing a variety of strengths—you help students realise that strength isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s about showing them that there are many different ways to be strong, kind, and resilient.
So, what’s the most important lesson you can teach adolescents? The message is the same for everyone—they don’t have to bottle up their feelings. You can help by guiding them through their emotions. It’s about offering them a safe space, providing the support you can, and knowing when to refer them to the appropriate resources, such as pastoral care staff or school counsellors.
